The restless night of sleep was evident on her face when she awoke to face the day ahead. The night had been cold making her shiver under the chocolate coated cover with a shimmery coat on its surface. Her dark eyes were drained of their normally bright color – to only she could notice when she faced the mirror when she stood up. She could see what no one else was able too; the fear.
Her hand trembled as she thought about the event that was going to take place. Her legs pushed harder than ever to bring her forward with the passing time. Hot water ran down her spine as if to warm her up for the fight she had already begun to lose. Wiping her eyes from the droplets of water that covered her face to try and bring her mind to a fresh new start, the water was only staying water. There was no chance to change the feelings that consumed her from the night before.
If she could for a second drown underneath the water to escape the fire that was in full swing outside the curtain, she felt she would take it. Her dark eyes raised to the flowing water as her body rested inside the cold tub, her head slowly laid back down on her knees. She wrapped her arms around herself as being alone was the only thing that protected her; it was all she knew, all she had to protect herself with. The comfort of herself was all there was.
The dimming light bulb three down caught her attention as she dressed for the day. It stuck with her as she left the bathroom, the only place she could lose herself for a short period of time. The curtain of her one woman show was on display for only her. She forced a cheerful smile to the family she was greeted with as they moved around getting on with their lives for the day. Her feet slipped into shoes that no one else would ever wear, because she would never let someone bear the burden she bore.
The sun shined outside the window even but there was still a light chill in the air from the increasing wind. Her violet jacket allowed her to snuggle inside it to keep her warm from the weather’s change to the winter season. It was the quickening of her heart she only could feel as she headed to the building that soon would change her world. The very ground she stood on would crumble & she wouldn’t even have time to comprehend the sudden quake.
The sweat on her palms made her pause her breathing to take a deep breath from the fear consuming her. The lights were calm, the voice soft, and as she slipped away the coat that shielded her she was bare to the room. The eyes watching her, taking away the walls no one else saw. She rubbed her arm as she sat down and crossed her legs to give her a form of disconnection from the person with her.
“Welcome.” They said kindly, another forced smile from the brunette’s lips came but soon faded as she realized the curtain had fallen down. This show was no longer her own. The water droplets were now her own tears and her pain was no longer coated. Her eyes soften as the words fell out of her mouth, and the pain finally revealed.
A battle between the woman and herself – reflected in the eyes of another for the first time. There was no longer a battle ground in which this heart beat on. The shiver of the coldness was directed to the heart’s fear and the mind’s cries to shut down and escape the body they were stuck in. Her eyes lowered to the white tiles under her shoes. “I’ve always known; I’d need your help.”