A Thousand More Steps

A thousand more steps

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(Credit belongs to rightful owner) I thought these brain scans were neat and kind of shocking.

Hi there darlings,

Recently I saw some pictures that struck me; there focus was on depression and explaining it. I felt sad when I saw them because, I am the person suffering. I also understood the person who didn’t understand. I want to state that because I’ve been on both sides of those posters.

I have no hate what so ever towards people who don’t understand. This post isn’t to hate on those people, at all. I state this because I never want anyone to think “Well hey – you’re being mean to the other people.” My intentions of this post are to explain my own personal experiences, no one elses. If the comments I’ll be discussing have helped people – then that’s what has worked for them. It’s not for me.

I even thought when I found out I was suffering from it. “I’ll get over it, I’ll be fine soon. I don’t need to talk to some quack who thinks they can help me.” 

I want to touch on a few things that have been bothering me. I hope you can keep an open mind. As someone who suffers from depression I feel I should explain some comments others make towards someone like myself.

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(Credit belongs to rightful owner) It’s interesting to see how the brain is with certain illnesses.

Get over it: Now while you might think your being encouraging with this tough love, it’s actually kind of mean. I think there’s healthier ways to give confidence to someone. At least for me – I find it mean. If depression was as simple as saying “Get over it.” I believe I would have conquered those demons a long time ago.

Getting over a problem is not always unproblematic. If I could look at myself in the mirror knowing if I say these words “Get over it.” And be free of the demon who sucks every ounce of joy out of me, who locks me in a dark room and keeps me from finding any light in my life – I would. I would do it.

Sometimes we need time, lots of time to get over the evils that keep us down. No one should feel ashamed of that fact.

You don’t look depressed: Well I suppose that’s somewhat nice to say. It doesn’t mean I’m not struggling though. I might not look depressed but I am. Let me explain it simpler.

When you look at a painting, you see the colors that an artist’s painted but, you don’t know the story behind it. It’s not like they wrote it out for you – not all the time anyways. If you want to understand something it’s about seeing through the colors, it’s about listening, it’s about trying.

From time to time there’s a lot more to a simple red, black or blue. All I’m saying is although you cannot see beneath the surface; it doesn’t mean nothings there. There is more than one color and shade to a person then you realize.

Having your respect and support is all I want. I think it’s something a lot of people want.

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(Credit belongs to rightful owner) As someone who suffers form PTSD seeing this shocked me.

I have problems too; you don’t see me on medication or in therapy: I’m honestly very happy for you, that is great! You should be proud of yourself, and no I’m not being sarcastic. I wish I didn’t need medication or therapy to overcome my struggles.

I tried to go about it without either and wound up worse off. I tried; I won’t wonder what if or say I don’t know what it’s like. I do and now it’s time to move on to something else. There are thousand more steps I might have to climb before reaching the point in my life and recovery that I need too.

The problem with that statement is its mean and it won’t help someone recovering. I know a lot of people have difficulty accepting their loved ones who are suffering. It’s complicated and it’s messy.

You have problems, I have problems. You don’t need to talk to somebody professionally, I do. There’s nothing wrong with either of our commentary because no matter our problems – we should be able to unite together. While we might fight the same battles our inner wars can be different, and even the similar battles we fight, are not always the same.

Paths differ and outcomes change.

If talking can help someone overcome their depression, we should encourage that. The same goes for medication. If they try it and it doesn’t work – at least the what if, will not exist.

Hearing these comments can hurt me rather than push me to work harder. I truly want to help myself and get better but remarks like those make me feel less of a person sometimes. I shouldn’t feel that way about myself and either should anyone else. I’m a human being with a heart that gets bruised just like anyone else’s. Instead of hate we should love, and instead of being mean we should be kind.

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(Credit belongs to rightful owner) Following my PTSD I fell into depression and this stunned me, I was literally speechless seeing this scan.

You have troubles.

I have troubles.

And that’s life, that’s fine.

We’ll get over them at the right time and hopefully together. There’s strength in numbers especially when you fight together. So even in our same one thousand steps; even when you reach a point before I – let’s do it together and try to reach our goals.

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9 thoughts on “A Thousand More Steps

  1. Tina Williams says:

    A great post Ky. It’s so easy for some people to say ‘get over it’ or ‘pull yourself together’, but theirs are the voices of ignorance and they lack compassion and empathy. Depression and anxiety are common conditions that are often not given the credence and understanding they deserve as they can be so debilitating. I’ve suffered from anxiety off and on since a minor head injury eight years ago and I do understand and wish you the very best and send you some love. 🙂

    • Ky Grabowski says:

      Hi Tina! 🙂

      Thank you! It does seem to be easier to speak rather then think and then speak. I hope people can find more compassion in themselves in the future to help the world grow better and more positive.

      I’m sorry about your suffering, I know it’s hard but I’m so happy to have met you and see all the wonderful things your doing! Bravo on all of it, I send you tons of love back and all the best to you Tina 🙂

  2. D.R. Tracy says:

    Amen. One thing there is to know, is just as the spirit called itself “Legion” when Christ asked its name, so is the same with “Depression” there is no “Get over it”, it’s to face it, don’t fear it and call it by name and bind it. This is how we are delivered from it in the name of Jesus…only believe. God bless.

  3. ScorpionGlow says:

    For anyone to say “Get Over It” is offensive to me. It’s ignorant and rude. Anytime something is invisible to the naked eye, people seem to think it gives them the right to say stupid and/or thoughtless things. My response is always the same: Educate yourself. There’s a growing lack of sensitivity in this world and it makes me sick.

    This was a very kind approach to a very serious situation.

    • Ky Grabowski says:

      Yes, it is. I completely agree that educating is a great way to at least begin to understand. There seems to be a growing (as you said it) lack of sensitivity, and it’s really sad. I hope people can begin to see we can overcome much more by being helpful and kind to one another. If we can grow negatively we should be able to grow positively. 🙂 Thank you again for your lovely thoughts!

  4. ontyrepassages says:

    Excellent post. People who say “Get over it” or any of the other statements you shared have their own issues…like ignorance or the inability to sympathize. They should be taking care of those issues instead of disparaging others who’d like nothing more than to “get over it.”

  5. Stephanie Cook says:

    Wonderful post! I too, suffer from depression and PTSD and I can’t tell you how many times I have heard those exact words, “get over it”, “you just need to get some fresh air.”, etc… Not everyone understands, and that’s ok, I don’t understand a lot of illnesses either, we all need to be understanding and helpful. We are all fighting a battle. Bless you Ky for openly talking about it and educating others.

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