Don’t rip the pages



This post centers on some recent activity in the writing world. The lack of kindness I have seen saddens me. I do my best to help authors, bloggers, and writers whenever I can. I believe in supporting one another and helping achieve our dreams.

First, up I will be discussing authors and the negativity bloggers (or anyone promoting has received) I want to state I know not everyone is this way, and do not believe everyone is like this. It has recently come up a few times in the community and I wanted to share my thoughts on the situation a bit.

I have heard authors being quite rude to people who are promoting their work. Something I cannot quite understand. I am confused. Good promotion is everything anyone could want, when people do it to help someone they believe in that is fantastic! I love when bloggers or readers take time out of their lives to inform others of something awesome they read and share why this love that author who wrote it.

I rather scratch my head at this situation. I cannot find the words to describe my thoughts. I am more at a loss for words to be honest. I have met so many wonderful people. Many of which go beyond to support others; whether people are working to share their own work or someone else’s. Therefore, it bothers me and bewilders me when an author gives backlash to someone for helping him or her.

As a blogger and an avid supporter of supporting, it also makes me nervous. I get nervous signing up for tours and often turn down people who ask me to review their book. It is not because I do not want too but things like the above situation play in my mind.

I am not paid to do this, and I’m not ‘yours’ (not meaning you but the person I’m offering to support) So when people act so unkindly it makes it harder to help. I have seen a few authors act as if the people supporting them must obey and treated as if they are property. No, we are all human beings and no one is superior to the other.



Now moving onto the author side of this post. This section is not focused on the above. Lately I noticed many rushed words. By that I mean, comments that people write to authors begging for the release of the next book. Brooke Cumberland stated something awesome in a post she wrote which you can read by clicking (here)

Often, I know the comments are not meant in harm. I am quickly going to neither state that nor do I believe these comments are (all) mean! Some however tend to make the authors feel like less of a person and even forced to write to satisfy the hunger. While it can be flattering, these authors do have a life outside of writing. I’ve been working on the same book for almost two years and am nowhere near done.

It got me thinking, what if I actually finish this book and all of a sudden, people send me unkind comments? I know it will come, as almost all get them. I’m not worried about bad reviews to be clear. I’m worried about comments that pile on negative pressure, some like Sarah Daltry have faced (which still breaks my heart) Bullying is never okay, in any form.

I felt as if there was no point to publishing the book at all simply because of that sudden fear. Then I realized something I once wrote before.

I write for myself first. It is not that I do not believe the request from fans or the fans are not important. I think of stuff like such when I write, however I have to believe in myself to write this book. I’m the one who actually has to focus on completing the task at hand otherwise it will never get done. I also write for the characters I’m working with, insanity aside, I want to tell their story because it is worth telling. I want to share their messages with people and get to see them grow with those around myself.

I became at ease but that does not mean others will be. In the end, be kind to one another. To understand that whether you are a fan, reader, blogger, and author: respect and support one another. We cannot grow or move forward in life if we beat each other down. Passion should be kept alive not broken down.

We all have our own lives. We all believe in something. We all do our parts to help one another. I love being a part of this community and of course, with everything negativity arises. I hope and want to be a part of overcoming that, to move on from it and see happiness all around.

So let us not rip the pages out of each other, instead let us continue to turn the pages.

What are your thoughts on this situation? In all my ramblings and confusion, I just hope people can learn to treat each other better. Sometimes miscommunication can lead to drama that never needed to happen. I often repeat myself both in my personal and professional life. I know it annoys family members sometimes (aha sorry!) but, I need to feel secure and assured that what I’m saying is getting across.



11 thoughts on “Don’t rip the pages

  1. stephendallen says:

    Hello Ky,

    Thank you so much for following, “Through The Cracked Window,” I appreciate the support a great deal.

    You make so many poignant observations regarding the writing community and the public in general.

    As writers we have a tendency toward fragile egos, at the best of times, and although rejection and criticism are part and parcel of this vocation, calling, curse…(take your pick), it is something no writer ever truly gets used to.

    Honest and constructive feedback is always welcome and should be encouraged as it lifts the art and helps us grow. However, when motives originate in jealousy, from other writers whose motives are to raise themselves at the expense of another, or to bolster self esteem, then we do a disservice to the art and too ourselves.

    Writing is typically a very isolating and very personal endeavor so let’s not make it more so within the very community we look to for support. Bravo Ky, you really struck a chord with this piece, thank you.


  2. Sharon Bonin-Pratt says:

    Hello, Ky,
    First I want to thank you for the follow on my blog. I am deeply honored.
    Second, you raise a huge topic here. I think some of the people you’re referring to are called “trolls,” like the ugly creeps who live under bridges and jump up to snag innocent folk crossing. Most of the posts I’ve read about trolls agree that they are sick and are most likely jealous of the attention that writers get when a book is launched or when anyone reaches a moment of success. Since the troll comments are trash, we should treat them as such and delete them. Giving them any attention, even negative attention, is what they want, so don’t. That’s often harder to do than to write.
    The other issue is the way people treat other people, whether they are writers, critiquers, politicians, or owners of sports teams. Being arrogant or dismissive is inappropriate, no matter the circumstances. Taking advantage of anyone because of status is unjust.
    In the end, it’s probably best to present our strongest side, to be compassionate, and to surround ourselves with friends who support our efforts.
    Take care, and congratulations on your publication success.

    • Ky Grabowski says:

      Awh, well thank you for venturing over and sharing your thoughts. 🙂 I agree we should continue to surround ourselves with good support and be compassionate, as much as we can 😀

      All the best!

  3. chrispavesic says:

    This reminds me of what happened with Charlaine Harris and the Sookie Stackhouse novels. It was reported that some readers threatened her and her family because of the ending of the last book in the series. I do not know if this is true or not–some media sources will report ‘rumors’ as facts–but the comments on about the book were not very kind when the novel first came out.

    • Ky Grabowski says:

      That is awful. Such a shame that this happens. Even if I don’t like something an author is writing or what happens with a favorite character I would never threaten the writer. That is mean, and even though they wrote this story and shared it with people – it is their story too. I’m not the one writing it so I generally understand that, if this is what they vision I will respect that. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂

  4. Emmy says:

    Authors and readers as just like humans 🙂 You get them in all shape and sizes. Unfortunately, you not only get the broad-minded but also the narrow-minded ones. I tend to look at it that way and keep reminding myself there are more good people than bad people out there.

  5. Denny B. Reese says:

    Reading this was a good way to end my day. As a writer I find it difficult not to be jealous of already published authors, especially when it means more competition. I need to remind myself that others didn’t have it easy either and that my writing was never based on money so that there is no competition. It’s difficult when money is the standard of happiness we have been taught.

    • Ky Grabowski says:

      I’m glad to hear that 🙂

      I wish too that money wasn’t the standard of achieving happiness. It helps to live but happiness should be appreciated in all forms 🙂

      Yes, I agree. Sometimes we forget that others struggle like we have. Its good to remember that, at least for myself I feel more happier to write and focus on my stories when I do.

      Thanks for commenting!

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